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Receta Hot Maple Cake with Crackle Icing and Maple Candied Pecans
by Julie Ruble

My church does this thing that everyone should do. I don't have "everyone should"s too often, but trust me: I think they're on to something here. This thing is called Life Story Groups.

In Life Story Groups, 3-4 people get together and meet 3-4 times, with each person taking a turn telling their life story. They can choose to filter out the hard stuff, but usually people take a chance on vulnerability and reap tremendous rewards from doing so. We meet at people's houses, diners, wherever we'll be comfortable without much noise. Life stories are considered absolutely confidential. During your life story, folks sometimes ask clarifying questions but there's no agenda and no real conclusions — just nonjudgmental listening. And snacks. There are lots of snacks.

Think about it. In general, people spend nearly all their time with one another relating on a surface level. Even when we get past small talk, we rarely have cause to delve into the corners of our soul with one another. It'd be awkward. We might be able to share hard times in a sanitized way, but we avoid telling the raw, whole truth. How do you tell someone about how bad it really is, when it's bad? How do you broach that one night when it all fell apart? The year you hit rock bottom? The huge mistake you made? There's just no comfortable lead-in to that, and maybe no one wants to hear anyway. Right? As a result, we can feel like we're the only ones who have our particular struggles. We might feel alone, crazy, ashamed, frustrated with ourselves or our circumstances — why me? and why can't I fix myself?

What happens during these Life Story Groups is simple — storytelling, food — but what happens during these Life Story Groups is transformative. You discover that others also have raw, ugly places they don't speak of — things they've hidden away from everyone and sometimes even tried to forget themselves. Our stories tie us together in intimate ways that we may never see because we don't have the occasion to; Life Story Groups create an occasion. When I hear other people laid bare, what happens in me is a heart-opening: an increase in empathy, a desire to listen more, a desire to be a softer place to fall. When I lay myself bare, what happens is a convergence: all of my selves, private and public, get to be one. People look at me and see the real me.

What would happen if you formed a little Life Story Group? What would happen if we all did? If we all rotated in and out of Life Story Groups, causing a ripple effect of knowing one another? Sometimes I think that heart change — the basis of home change, of community change, of nation change — is much more dependent on storytelling than we realize.

I start another Life Story Group this Friday and I'm excited to get to know three other women I only just met this morning! This cake would be a perfect treat for our gathering — a delicious yellow cake iced while hot with maple crackle icing and topped with addictive maple candied pecans. I serve it with vanilla bean ice cream and a drizzle of maple syrup right out of the skillet. Enjoy!

Three years ago: White Sheet Cake with Fluffy Whipped Icing

Four years ago: Clementine Mousse Cheesecake

Five years ago: Carrot Cake Sandwich Cookies with Honey Cardamom Cream Cheese

Six years ago: Nanaimo Bars