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Okay, so every once in a while I ask my adorable wife what her death row meal would be and she pretty much always says the same thing: "Steak, scallops, & mashed potatoes." It's also her stranded on a desert island meal (which would be much harder to procure, unless of course it happens to be a creepy island filled with desert cows). So I make it for her. I tell her she does not need to commit murder or hijack a yacht to scary cow island to obtain such a meal. I make a damn fine steak, a juicy seared scallop, and my Joël Robuchon style mashed potatoes are freaking bomb. We eat, make creepy chewing moany noises, and then we fall into a delicious coma. Beaten into submission by meat and fat. If my doctor ever told me that I had to cut back…

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