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Receta Pork and Beans is Made from People!
by Violet Séverine Blanchard

After the apocalypse I assume I'll be eating a lot of beans. That and perhaps some human flesh but I don't want to get into that right now (just read the book The Road and you'll now what's what). When I was little I would just sit there and pop open a can of Beanie Weenies (grey looking hot dogs chopped up in saucy baked beans) and eat them cold out of the can. I liked to pretend I was vagabond traveler riding the rails and getting into all kinds of trouble. I'd build fires and hunt for dinner. I almost caught a squirrel once with my bare hands. Actually I'm glad I didn't because I hear that they have to stab you in the stomach with a hypodermic needle like 50 times if you get rabies. I hear squirrel tastes like chicken which sounds delicious but frankly I don't like needles.

Thankfully the end of the world hasn't happened yet (so the whole cannibalism thing will have to wait) and I can still cook up a nice meal on my rickety baby stove (seriously, why is my oven so small?). My take on pork and beans is perhaps a little more refined than the canned version but still fills me up with nostalgia and makes me think of my childhood dreams of train hopping and being a sidewalk card shark or con artist grifter.

Start the black-eyed peas:

Place a medium sized pot over medium heat. In a little canola oil saute the onions, celery, garlic, sausage, and scallions until the vegetables are translucent (about 4 minutes). Add the spices, black-eyed peas, and chicken stock and simmer until the sauce thickens (about 15 minutes).

As the black-eyed peas starts to thicken start the pork chops. Before cooking the chops pat them dry. Mix all the spices together. Place a frying pan over medium high heat. Season the pork chops liberally. Put a little oil in the pan and sear the pork chops (about 3-4 minutes per side). Make sure the pork is just cooked through and remove from the heat to a cutting board. Let the pork rest 5 minutes before slicing.

Plate the black-eyed peas and top with the sliced pork chops. Garnish with celery leaves. Enjoy your pre-apocalyptic, human fleshless meal. xoxo